Welcome 2017!

It's the first day of the New Year.

It feels joyful to start another year.  2016 was not that good to me or to my family.  We lost two of our relatives.  Our Uncle Eddie Tibi and my Aunt Matit Alfelor-Cabanes.  Aside from a host of other heartaches, disappointments, frustrations and just a general sadness, the year that was needed extra effort for us to survive.  It was difficult.

But the year also saw several triumphs.  My sister graduated from Medical School after a long time of changing schools and other obstacles, she made it and I am so proud of her.  My cousin Dharl also passed the Nursing Licensure Exam after a lot of tries.  That was truly a victory.  After several attempts, she was able to make it.  And yes, I am proud of her too.  And of course, my son and several of his cousins are doing good in school, having been recognized several times over the year with the honors they received for academic excellence.  That was truly grand and made the year much more bearable.

I was also able to start a small food business.  It was a struggle.  It is real.  But then, I am happy that somehow I was able to muster the courage of starting it at a time of great disappointment.  Truly, every crisis is also an opportunity.

Now, this year,

I honestly do not know what this year holds for me.  Only God knows.  But, whatever it is, I know it will always be for the good.  But, this I know.  I will continue doing what worked last year.  I will also do some things better this year.  Declutter.  Put things in order.  Love more.  Thank more.  Be more mindful.  And be more courageous.  I will do things this year that I have never done before and I hope and pray that whatever it will be, with much hardwork and dedication and focus, I will succeed.

So, cheers!  It's a new year and it has nothing but hope for us all.  God bless everyone and a Happy New Year!

OF WHISTLING, CAT CALLING AND OTHER STRANGE THINGS

After the elections, in between going back to the familiar and putting things in order, I spent my time president-elect watching through the various mediums available to me. 

I did not vote for President-Elect Rodrigo Duterte.  If I did not run for office, I might have because I had been supportive of Federalism since I was in college.  But, facts are facts and I won’t be hypocritical just to be with the sixteen million plus souls who voted for him.  I did not vote for Rody Duterte.

It was of course disappointing that my president did not win.  I did not win.  But the world does not end.  You take stock.  Reflect on your learnings.  Pick up what is left after the dust settles and move on and part of that activity is president-elect watching.

I started reading about him and I admit I liked what I read.  He is unconventional but he gets the job done.  I thought, there is hope.  I guess, the 16 million is correct all along.  The country needs someone like him.

 

Then, he did an act that is so typical Filipino male.  During a press conference, he whistled, nay, catcalled a pretty GMA 7 Reporter, made snide comments that were quickly judged as sexist, and even sang to her much to the amusement of those who were present.  Amused.  Yup, that seems to be the reaction of those who witnessed it.  I say amused because most of the people there laughed. 

I should be outraged.  But, I wasn’t.

MAYBE IT’S JUST ME

Just a little background about me.

I grew up the eldest of a brood of six, four of which are males.  Our household, when we were still living with my grandparents, had more males than females, all of which had their own brand of the domineering alpha male psyche.  

The females though were strong-willed.  We had to be.  If we were not, we will disappear like wall flowers in a household that were predominantly male.  I was taught at an early age, that because I was female, I had to work doubly hard, excel in school, do very well socially, and always, always, speak my mind.

As I was growing up, I found myself being more comfortable with my male friends than with my female friends and the circles I found myself in became more predominantly male.  For a long time, I had been the only female in our Rotary Club.  My profession is also dominated by the male specie.  Even the Boards that I find myself being a member in turn out to be more men than women.

These circumstances would often lead to situations where I receive sexist remarks.  There was this one time when I was pregnant with my second son and as I was leaving the already concluded Board Meeting, a male Director commented “So, is you vagina all red and inflamed?  Isn’t it that when pigs are pregnant their vagina becomes all red and swollen?”  He said it in the Rinconada dialect which made it all the more graphic. That guy is now on his second term as a city councilor.  I just answered “What kind of question is that?”  and left the premises.  I hated him.  I already hated him before the incident, but that incident as I was leaving obliterated whatever little respect I had for him.  I pity his wife.  I actually wanted to comment back, that maybe he doesn’t know because he was only able to get his wife pregnant once.  But, that would make me no better than he is, even bringing his wife into the exchange.  Not a good reply.

That is just one of the many sexist remarks I receive.  There are so many, especially in our Rotary Club, but I forgot it already.  Such is the world that women lives in.  And the strongest of us females learn to cope.  We build ourselves strong to such an extent that such comments or actuations will not break us.  We have to be so confident in our own skins that no amount of catcalling, sexist remarks or offensive actions will destroy the self that we have built.

OF SEXIST REMARKS

Any form of sexist remark that offends is wrong at any level.  It doesn’t matter if you are a construction worker, a BPO executive or the President of the Philippines, it is wrong.  In any context, in any situation, it is wrong.

But, there are women who welcome it.  I remember a friend in Manila who told me after getting catcalls from the construction workers that “Mare, ang haba ng hair ko kanina.  Dumaan ako diyan sa may ginagawang condominium sinipulan ako ng mga laborer at may sumigaw pa hinihingi cp number ko.”  My eyes were wide open in disbelief.  Not to the fact that there were men who wanted to get her number, but to her reaction.  It is a strange world.

I learned early on that since how the world treats women is not going to change in a day, it is now up to me how I will be able to deal with such kind of men.  I ignore them.  I ignore them with such indifference.  In any situation, it is always the female that is on the losing end.

I’ll give you an example.  During the campaign, I noticed and caught a member of the campaign team staring at me on several occasions.  I just ignored it, until one incident where in the guise of warding off the mob, he touched my waist.  I was uncomfortable.  I immediately moved away from him and did so for the entire time of the campaign.

I thought about what I should do.  Do I confront him and tell him do not touch me?  Do I tell the campaign manager to deal with it?  What should I do?

I decided to just let it go.  Ignore him and evade being near him.

But why?  You may ask.

First of all, I wasn’t sure that what he was doing had any color of malice.  What if he said that he was just doing his job?  What if he said that I was the one who’s mind was malicious, that he had no such intention on his part?  Now, that would put a lot of color to my reaction.  So, I just ignored it and went on with my life.

Such is the world we live in, I say.  When I was younger, when a guy would seem to be courting me, I categorically ask him if he is courting me.  It was better that things were clear.  I did not want to engage in behavior that would seem like I am giving him a chance when clearly I was only being nice.  You know what I mean?

NOW BACK TO DUTERTE

President-Elect Duterte crying by his mother's grave where he
lamented for his mother to help him.  At the end of the day,
even the strongest call for their Mama.

Nobody is perfect.  We cannot have our cake and eat it too.

We needed a leader with balls and we got it.  But what we want comes with all his flaws that he did not keep from us anyway. 

The thing is, he is who he is.  No apologies.  No compromises. 

Now, we should not condemn just because he is flawed.  As flawed as any one of us.  Just because he gives out sexist remarks does not make him a bad president.  Cut the guy some slack, will you.  We should not take the baby out with the bath water.  We are stuck with him as much as we are stuck with this society that looks at women as second class citizens of the world.  So, I say, we women should roll with the punches and the men who were offended should do so too.

The important thing is that he has all the makings of a guy who will do the job.  We need one with balls, I say again.  One who will not shirk from making tough decisions that should be made.  One who does not think about his reputation or his popularity after all is said and done.  One, who hopefully after his term ends would leave the Philippines a better country than when he first took his oath.

NOW WHAT SHOULD WE DO

Often, I would tell myself, that nationhood is not the role of any one president alone.  It is the work of an entire country.  You, me, everyone.  We should do our part in making our world a better place than when we first came here. 

Are you kind?  Do you help your brethren in any way you can?  Do you pay your taxes?  Do you beat the red light?  Are you so impatient that you are willing to pay a little more to the government clerk so you could get the job done right away?  Do you ask for money as padulas to make government transactions easier? 

If we don’t want a corrupt nation we should have an honest citizenry.  So, are you honest?

It is easy to rant about what is wrong with this nation, but when it asks just a little from you, you are the first one to leave. 

It is sad.

As for me, I am the mother of two boys.  I am starting now.  I am bringing them up to be respectful of women at least I am assured that the world is 2 boys less sexist than when I first came here.  

I tell you, if indeed CHANGE IS COMING, it should come from US.

THANK YOU LORD!

THANK YOU LORD

A Year-End Review

As I write this blog post, my first for 2016, I am in the midst of cleaning up our bedroom and our home office.  While in the throes of throwing away old garbage and letting go of some stuff, I can’t help but feel nostalgic and a little sentimental.

2015 has been a good year, I actually found it hard to let go.  So let me give you a run-through of the year that was.

Early 2015

The year started pretty hectic.  I was looking forward to the execution of the K-12 Transition Plans of the HEIs under my care.  I had to make sure that we are able to ride the wave and be able to negotiate through the waters of K-12 and be able to cross the vast unchartered ocean to land on the other side unscathed and victorious.

However, late 2014, I was elected as a director of the Metro Naga Chamber of Commerce and Industry (MNCCI) and this led me to being appointed as the Chairperson of the Enterprise Development Training Institute (EDTI) of the MNCCI, the training arm of the Chamber and surprises of all surprises, the Chairperson of the Bicol Business Week, the annual flagship event of the MNCCI.

This development got me really busy.  I had to delegate K-12 transition execution to other persons in the HEIs concerned and fortunately, I made the right decision.  So from the start of the year until the middle of 2015 this occupied my days.

Mid 2015

June is always the busiest month for us in the education sector being the start of the school year.

On the homefront, I was moving my two kids from the old Ateneo campus on Bagumbayan to the new campus in Pacol.  Nico was going to start in the big school as a first grader and I moved Rocky to the new campus as a Nursery pupil to be with his Kuya.

Between buying school supplies and ensuring that my kids were well adjusted in the new school, I still had my work and MNCCI tasks.  Add to that my Rotary meetings, Red Cross meetings and social events that made my planner look like a coloring book instead of a serious organizing tool.

As the Bicol Business Week was drawing near and making me worried, Naga City got awarded as the Most Competitive Component City in the country.  This led to an innovative re-branding of the event as Bicol Business Month and thus a move to November from the original September date was necessary.  I begged off the chairmanship of the event.

My primary reason was that by November, members of the family who will run for public office have already filed their candidacy in October.  This means I will once again be part of the team that will ensure their success, God-willing.  I told Gilbert, the MNCCI president that I cannot possibly be able to make time for the BBM preparations and I did not want MNCCI to suffer the consequences of that.  I was glad that he understood and made the 1^st Bicol Business Month the success that it is today.

THE LIFE SHIFT

Now, as if my plate is not already overflowing, I was asked to run for Vice-Governor of the Province of Camarines Sur.  I initially said no.  We had four candidates running in our family.  I wanted to give my full support to their campaign and running as a candidate myself may seriously affect the campaign on my family members.

However, God has different plans.  And yes, I decided to run wholeheartedly because I truly felt the need for change.  With no preparations whatsoever, I agreed to be candidate for next year’s election and boy was I in for the greatest change in my life.

END OF 2015

Yes, my entire life changed when I said yes to run for a public office.  My entire personal schedule was obliterated to be replaced with a more grueling schedule of barangay visits and leaders’ meetings.  I am no longer garbed in my usual corporate attire but in blue polo shirts and jeans and I no longer have time to indulge in doing my make up in the morning.  I also do not have time anymore to check on my kid’s homework so whatever free time I have I spend with my kids.  Even my husband is complaining.

But, this is the life I chose.  At least for the time being while I try to persuade the electorate of my fitness to the position I am eyeing.  This is what should be done, marching on with the river at my back, just like what my Kuya Ted constantly reminds me.  I just have to let the people who love me understand this new normal that I have embarked on and I know with their love and understanding everything will be fine.

THANKFUL

2015 is actually a year of firsts for me.  First time to run for public office.  First time to reach a lot of places in the province which I’ve never been to before like Lupi and Cabusao.  First time to ride a helicopter.  First time to speak before multitudes of strangers who never met me.  It is tough but I am always thankful for the experience.

Not everyone is given this chance to serve, whether as a director of an organization, as a teacher, and now as a probable public servant and I will always be grateful for the opportunities given to me.  I am not always sure that I deserve the trust and confidence, but when given the opportunity I always make sure that I give it my all.

I am also thankful for all the people who made 2015 a year of success, from my UNEP Family, to my Partido College Family, to my CCDI Family and also even to TEAM CamSure Happy, to Team Arnie and to my Team Peachy Families, you all made my life so much easier letting me have time to things that matter most.  I have nothing but gratitude in my heart. 

Malayo pa ang lalakbayin natin mga kasama kaya't patuloy lang tayo sa ating gawain para sa bayan.

Not for me, but for us.

2016

As I face my 40^th year, as I am turning the big 4-0 by June, I pray for more patience and fortitude because I know that the race is long and I need the endurance to finish it.  Yes, I am afraid, but gladly, I can say that my Faith is always bigger than my Fears. 

So, I welcome 2016 with much positivity and love.  With prayers and the will of God, I know I will overcome.

Happy New Year!